Have you heard of the recent phenomenon of being “Catfished?” This was all started by a man named Neve who met a very pretty young lady online. They communicated so much via social media that a relationship started to form. However the lady Neve thought he had been talking to, Megan, was not Megan at all. In fact Megan was actually a lady named Angela who did not look anything like the pictures Neve saw. The whole social media profile of Megan was made up. His brother is a documentary film maker and he and his crew captured the whole thing and made it into a documentary titled “Catfish.” It actually did pretty well acquiring two Best Documentary nominations at a couple of different movie awards. The story of Neve and Angela is actually much more in depth than I am telling you and is very interesting. If you have not seen the “Catfish, The Movie” I strongly recommend you watch it. It is better than you might think. » Read more..
Archive for Relationships
Many friends of mine who are married often talk about how they keep their marriages strong. Many of them have date night one a week or make sure they take time out for one another, away from children and other family. I can understand how many are trying to make sure their marriages stay strong. Some statistics say that up to 50% of marriages end in divorce. I found on interesting graphic however that debunks those statistics, showing there are multiple factors that come into play with those numbers.
You can navigate through this graphic using the navigation on the left.
Even with that being said, for a marriage to stay strong it takes work on both sides. This post on Yahoo from REDBOOK talks about 10 ways you can keep the relationship between you and your partner strong. I think this not only applies to marriages but serious relationships as well.
If you are over 40 and single like me, you might be wondering when it is going to happen for you. Personally I do not mind being single right now because I have so much going on but, I do not want to grow old by myself. Being alone and growing older is a huge fear of mine. Faith Murphy Knight from Discovery Health says the keys to getting the love you want over the age of 40 are knowing what you want, asking for what you want and what price are you willing to pay?
How do you feel about finding love over 40?
Since the Amendment One vote here in North Carolina, a lot has gone on in my life. Many of these life events have caused this blog post to be delayed however, they have not changed my feelings on the outcome. I am still as passionate about me feelings on this subject as I was the day I voted. Personally, I voted against Amendment One. My vote, unlike many others, had nothing to do with my religious beliefs but everything to do with equal rights. Sadly, many of the voters in favor Amendment One were black. We…the same race of people who know exactly what discrimination feels like. Now, like many others, I was taught that marriage is between one man and one woman. I have always been taught that and always believed that. But I also feel as though we have crossed the line in stating what others can or can not do. I am not gay so I can not speak for a gay person. I can not say how a gay person feels, but the first thing that comes to mind for me is discrimination. If a church does not feel like marriage between two people of the same sex is right, is within that churches right. For the government to say it is whole other issue. This is exactly why there is supposed to be a separation between church and state in this country. People complain about government being involved too much in their lives but were so quick to pull the trigger for this amendment that is supposedly ”protecting the value of marriage.” Just like with anything that people are so opposed to, here is what I say, if you do not believe in gay marriage, don’t have one. Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong? I thought as Christian people, we are not supposed to judge. I was taught that we leave that up to God. But the Christians showed me a month ago here in North Carolina that we do a great deal of judging. » Read more..
By now many of you have more than likely heard about the shooting of the black unarmed teenager by the name of Treyvon Martin. He was walking back to his father’s girlfriends house after buying a tea and some Skittles at the store, when a self appointed neighborhood watchman chased him down and eventually shot and killed him. Claiming self defense, the shooter George Zimmerman, has not been arrested due to Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law. There are many questions in the minds of people as to why Zimmerman has not been arrested and the very questionable acts of the Sanford, FL police department. Since all of this has happened, there have been rallies where thousands have attended calling for justice for Treyvon Martin with the arrest of George Zimmerman. The police chief, Bill Lee, has also stepped down. Most do not think that is enough, he should actually be fired. To the masses of all races, the senseless killing of Treyvon is a classic case of racial profiling. If Treyvon had he been a young white male, he would probably still be alive today.
My intent on writing this post is not to recount the tragic events of the killing of Treyvon. My motivation for this post is the response to a comment I received on my personal Facebook timeline after posting these words: “ This whole Treyvon Martin thing has me all messed up in the head. Will someone please explain to me how a young man is dead for no reason, police know who did it and no arrest has been made? Sad…so sad…” Many of my friends who commented felt the same way I did but I was surprised by one. Here is part of what was said:
Them: ”You should be careful not to draw conclusions or assumptions on what the media has presented you. They have their own agenda and goals.”
Me: “All I know is an unarmed young boy is dead and no arrest has been made. That is all I need to know.”
Them: ”Young men die every single day and the media doesn’t splash it across every television screen. The only difference here is that the shooter is a middle aged white guy rather than someone less attractive to sensationalizing.”
Me: I am not going to argue or debate this issue with you (name omitted). I have my opinion and you have yours. The shooter is Hispanic by the way. » Read more..
More and more attention is being brought to the fact that there are so many single black women in this country. Nightline tackled the issue in 2011 during a special titled “Nightline Face-Off”: Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?“ that consisted of a debate between successful black women and men about the issue. Current statistics show that about 70% of African American women are unmarried. I am not sure how accurate that number is but I do know that many more of my white friends are married than my black ones and often I wonder why. I myself am unmarried at the wonderful age of 41 and really have come to the conclusion that I might not ever get married. Some of my reasoning for this has to to with the fact that I am okay with being single. I have experienced and seen so many bad break ups and divorces to the point where I do not know if it is even worth it to me. I also know that letting someone As I continue to get older however, I also think about not wanting to grow old alone and how I would like the support from time to time, personally and financially.
One of the factors that I feel like contribute to the large number of unmarried African American women is the number of black men that date outside of their race. The majority of black women still prefer to be with a black man over any other race thus creating an imbalance. Recently Anderson Cooper talked about this very topic on his new talk show. Even though it is becoming more and more common, there is still a lot of debate over what is acceptable and to whom when it comes to interracial dating. There are many that still feel that this is not acceptable. As a black woman, I can understand this feeling. I am in no way a doubter of true love and I do not think there should be any color lines when it comes to it. Often times however, I do wonder what has turned the black man off from the black woman as it seems as though we are no longer their first choice in a mate. » Read more..
Today I ran across this article from trusted AARP about making new friends. If you are anything like me, trusting people is very difficult. I have chosen at this time in my life to keep the small amount of close friends that I have and do not often reach out to obtain new ones. I am not sure, however, if this is always the best option. Sometimes I feel a little silly trying to bond with someone now but according to this article, it is never too late!
Never Too Old to Find New Friends
15 ways to connect with others and form fulfilling relationships
by: Mary Mohler | from: AARP | April 1, 2011
When you were in school, you had no problem making friends. Ditto for those years when you were a parent of growing kids. But now that you’ve reached a new stage of life — and maybe have relocated or retired — making new acquaintances can be a little trickier.
Also see: Be a Better Friend
Not only do you have fewer opportunities to meet new people, but “there’s also a little more resistance to forming new relationships later in life, and your skills can get a bit rusty,” says Marla Paul, author of The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You’re Not a Kid Anymore. Besides, you may feel just plain awkward.
Still, it’s important to make the effort. Close relationships with others are vital to your health — physical, mental and emotional — your self-esteem and even your longevity, according to recent research. So if watching Grey’s Anatomy is the highlight of your week, or you find yourself enthusiastically chatting with telemarketers, you probably need to make some new connections. Here are 15 things that can help you. » Read more..
When browsing the web, I run across articles that I think would interest my readers. This one is from AARP about how to make your marriage stronger. It includes a video from The Marriage Whisper, Harville Hendrix that tells about why you fall in love with the person you do and how to make a marriage that has turned negative stronger. Here is the article.
The Secrets To A Stronger Marriage
Relationships expert Harville Hendrix offers advice on how to make your marriage happier and more fulfilling
by: Margery D. Rosen | from: AARP | June 1, 2011
Falling in love seems effortless. Intoxicated with each other, you’re thoughtful, attentive, generous.
“When we fall in love, we see the world in Technicolor,” says psychologist Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., who Oprah Winfrey has dubbed the marriage whisperer. “We’re filled with delicious expectations of wish fulfillment.”
But staying in love, maintaining that close connection through the years? That’s tricky. “Inevitably, things start to go wrong,” explains Hendrix, who created Imago Relationship Therapy three decades ago after listening to thousands of couples talk about their once-happy marriages. “Traits and qualities you used to admire begin to grate. Old hurts resurface; new ones are forged. The relationship that started with such promise leaves you feeling lonely, disconnected and unsure how to get back on track.”
Why do some marriages burn out while others burn bright? Hendrix believes the key lies in what he calls the “hidden agenda” of romantic love. “We like to think that we have free choice when it comes to picking a partner,” he explains. “In fact, subconsciously we choose someone — I call this your Imago partner — who resembles one of our parents in positive as well as negative ways.” No matter how wonderful those caretakers were, he explains, they weren’t perfect. As a result, we all have old emotional wounds and unmet needs that stay with us for years. We assume that the person we love will help us rewrite the script, soothe those hurt feelings and satisfy all those missing needs — and in the beginning, they often do. But as time goes by, couples become gridlocked in power struggles large and small that can simmer for decades.
“To break the cycle, couples need to learn how to love in the other what they dislike in themselves,” says Hendrix. “Once you’ve developed this self-awareness, you take the first step toward a conscious marriage and a real and lasting love.” Here, Hendrix offers seven rules for making the second half of your marriage even better than the first.